Half a Million

Something pretty weird happened to me today. The 10th of May I have to complete my driver's exam in order to get my driver's license. I'm pretty sure I'll fail it the first time but yet there is still a small hope of passing it. I'll think I'll have a beer just before it, it will calm me down and as long as I don't go over the prohibitted alcoholvolume, there should be no problem at all. Theoretically. I don't think my instructor would like to smell a beerbreath when I'm doing my final manoeuvres for the exam. But hell with that, I'm legal you prick!

So why does one want to obtain a driver's license? To drive a car of course. Any car. Well, especially a very cool car that you really can show of with but since those things cost around 200,000 euros, buying those will be for much much later. When I run GameSpot or something. You don't need a driver's license in America anyway (well, you need one but you don't have to pass any tests, so in fact you don't need one) so I don't have to pass the test at all. Most people like it when they have got a driver's license, they can borrow their parents car from time to time. I would be pleased with that as well, but some people in my environment didn't think that was enough. You guessed it, soon I'll be the owner of my own car and I feel pretty much uncomfortable about it.



First of all, I didn't spend a penny on it. That's right, not one penny. My, quite wealthy, grandfather offered me to buy the car. It's not a new car but it still costs pretty much. It's a fucking car after all and cars just ain't that cheap, new or not. I was happy and embarassed at the same time. But can one decline an offer you can't refuse? I don't think so. And such an offer isn't to be refused, so I accepted it. He chose the car (well, he asked my opinion about it but I noticed he'd be quite unhappy with me when I told him I didn't like it), what's understandable, after all it was his wallet as well. Luckily, I really liked the car and he called it a day. Just like that, he spent 10,000 euros on a car.


10,000 euros. That's approximately a bit less than half a million franks. Half a million. It's an amount of money a 19-year old student shouldn't be able to dispose of. Now, when that would've been it (the events I'm talking about happened two weeks ago), I now shouldn't be writing about this. I felt bad about it he had given me all that money, just for a car I really didn't need that much. That money could've gone to much better expenses, but then again, if you know my grandfather, you know it wouldn't go anywhere but over the counter of a jewelry shop. So I didn't feel too bad about it. All that changed today, when he handed me the money. Cash.



I had never had so much money in my hands. Ever. I felt sick realising I was carressing more than an average man makes in a month of hard work. A month? Let's make that six months. My reaction was quite weird as well, I guess. I smiled but from the inside I was filled with disgust. There should be a limit to these kind of gifts. One shouldn't be spoiled like this, not at all. I know it sounds very weird to say so, but when you are confronted by the real amount of money in your hands, you suddenly don't want it anymore.

I'm also really scared of what my friends and mates are going to say about this. I think it will go a bit like this.'Wow, nice car' 'Thanks' 'Where did you get the money to buy that beauty?' 'Well, it isn't a new car...' 'Man, it looks like fucking brandnew! How much has it cost you?' 'Well, 10,000 euros...' 'Dude, that's so much money, where did you get it?' 'Well, I got it as a gift from my grandfather...' To be honnest, if someone would have told me this story, I'd freak out as well. Not only would I freak out but I'll be overwhelmed by this immense feeling of jealousy. Even my girlfriend told me she was jealous about me (well, about my money), go figure!



Second thing why I don't really feel like passing the test and buying that car ASAP is that I'm still a potential danger on the road. Maybe all young drivers are a danger on the road but I feel that I'm not ready to take on the road on myself. Partly, that's the fault of my parents that always gave me directions to what I had to pay attention while I was practising my drivingskills. So when I'll be out on my own, I won't be able to pay attention to anything and everyone and in the end I'll do something wrong. And when something goes wrong, I'll end up panicking and then we (that is my car and me) will be in big shit. Lack of confidence and touring with a brandnew car that you haven't even bought yourself. My day was shit and I certainly hope yours was better...