The Black Button

How about that for a nap? I know, it's been a long time. Hell, it even has been a very long time in which a lot has happened. For one, I failed my exams but I didn't fail them big time. So, if all goes well (mind the importance of the word 'if'), I'll make it safely to the next year. You can all send me a postcard when that happens, but for now, put your inspiration somewhere cold, as it might evaporate elsewhere.

It's HOT! And with that sentence I don't mean to tell you that you have to pay six pounds for smokes and then get your ass smacked by a policemen who's running around a couple of hundred blocks away from the crime scene *catches breath*, no I mean to tell you it's HOT. It's even that hot that civil servants (or whatever you call the people that fake work behind a desk of bulletproof glass) can go home at three in the afternoon instead of five. And they get paid for it, as well. Now spank my ass and call me Riki, but I think civil servants are made to make fun off. I know they don't like it, but with an attitude like that, you are just asking to become the subject of any lazyjoke that has ever been invented.

I myself had a rather unsatisfying encounter with a civil servant a couple of weeks ago. I rang up the lady to confirm that my registration file had reached the office without any troubles. Guess what the fucking eggbags answer was. 'Oh, I'm sorry dear ass who just rang me out of my sleep but the bloody files aren't yet put in an alfabetical order so I can't help you. I'm sure your fucking file will be in the pile, but for now, I'm too lazy and busy eating a doughnut I won't look it up for you'. Before I could reply, 'and what if the file isn't in the pile (considering it was the last day registrations could reach the office), the bloody bitch had already smacked the phone back on the horn. How about that for some professional guidance by experts in the field...



What else has happened during my absence? Apart from the fact I'm building quite a relation with the word tentaclesoup (I have no idea why though), games of course! Loads of them. Good ones too. Bad ones as well but the most things I've played since the beginning of the holiday turned out te be quite good. There is, however, one striking fact that certainly has to be mentioned. I was at a friends place and that same friend had bought Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory for Xbox. It's simply a great game. Graphically, it can match with some of the earliest next-gen games (that aren't running on an HD-TV of course) and it has this superwicked co-op mode that can be either played via Xbox Live! or in split-screen mode on the same television. Since we were both in the same room with the same 360, there would've been no point at all to try the co-op mode via Live! Accidentally I happened to have my 360-controller with me so we got all excited (We aren't geeks, we are level 12 paladins!!) about kicking some terrorist ass together.

UbiSoft however wouldn't co-operate. We started the training mission and after exactly 15.8 seconds (I read it of the back of my teammate, that shiny thing is actually a cell phone with a chrono on it, yes), we realised how fucked we were. The first, so-called, team manoeuvre that had to be executed was fairly simple. Jump on the shoulders of your mate to reach higher platforms. In order to so do, you have to press THE BLACK BUTTON *insert evil laugh and horrifying tune here*. We turned the controller upside-down, inside-out, threw it out of a window, smashed it with a hammer, analysed it with a microscope, ran over it with a forklift (no idea where it came from but we DID) and even tried to cook bloody tentaclesoup with it but the damn thing was nowhere to be found! It hadn't evaporated either, it just wasn't there.

Realising we would never make it out of the room, I gave my friend a headshot. And it felt good.


Come out come out wherever you are!

People who would be wondering (who am I kidding, all the people that would be wondering about it are probably ordering spam and eggs right now) why it has been two months since I updated that other blog, I have no idea. I simply can't find the time writing interesting reviews about the games but I'll try to catch up a little in August. Stay tuned!